我是一只鱼

The hand that rocks the cradle

                                what I know about my mother

At the age of 25 I have to admit that I’v lost some memories. In fact, I can’t remember how my mother fed me up when I was just a baby. But when I became a child I was very clear that my mother was a beautiful lady. I am still very sure about that nowadays.

In the early of 1990s, most of people in our Northeast lost their jobs. And of course my mother couldn’t escape from the same sufferrings. But she was indeed an optimistic woman and have strong power of will. And because she liked singing songs very much, she tried to find jobs in  ballrooms. And so she became a singer with the support of my father.

In fact my mother didn’t have time to learn the basic knowledge about music and singing, but she was really a little talented on it.So every evening my mother had to put her makeup and wore shiny clothes and then went to work.. And every day my father had to fetch her back at the midnight.

But in most of the people’s eyes the ballroom was not a good place. So did I.  Lots of idle persons liked to go to the ballroom, talking loudly,drinking and dancing in the music. So when some people are drunk they became irascible, and then they maybe fight with some guys and even some severe crimes occurred. My father was a little worried about her safety, but she could always handle the things happened on her. She was really smart.

Of course the money was not easy to earn and my mother was often very tired with big pressure. But she was very strong on the view of life. She had ever told me that:

”Don’t cry when you are hurt”;

”Never be afraid of others bacause you are a man”;

“Just have hope in your heart and live happily”;

“If someone beats you, you must beat him back!”

……

I’ve already said that she had strong power of will, and she taught me her philosophy too.

When I grew up gradually, my mother also beacame older day by day. When the wrinkles swarmed up her beautiful face stealthily and some gray hair appeared annoyingly, she couldn’t sing in the ballroom any more. So in the next 10 years until I graduated from my university, my mother had changed at least 5 jobs. I remembered that she ever opened a restaurant, sold bicycles, and clothes…But both she and my father were not cannily merchants, and so she didn’t achieve big success. But the money she earned was also enough for us to eat, drink and wear, and for my expensive tuition.

My mother knew that she couldn’t earn lots of money for me because she quited her study since she was in elementary school. She just thought that made her a little unlettered and so she denstined to struggle for her life. She was often regret for that and persisted me to study well and accecpt knowledge , the way of success.

In 2007,My mother is 48 now. But she is still lively and never admit she’s old. She has a young heart, which is full of passions to her life. She still likes singing songs and she still don’t like to cook. In my father’s eyes, maybe she was still a big girl.

My mother loves me deeply, indeed. She often cried for me since I came to Shanghai alone. When the first year in 2002 I came to Tongji Unversity, she cried when she was walking back from my dormitory. When she arrived home, she gave me a phone call immediately and said to me she  and my father missed me very much. She then asked me if I miss them too. And I joked:”No.”  And she cried again for some days.

For me, she is my good mother and also my best friend. And in my eyes, she is the most beautiful lady in the world, forever.